I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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