im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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