if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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