It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
