Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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