Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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