yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize