do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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