david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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