that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
