I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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