I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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