i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
