She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
