everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
