there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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