that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
