i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
