What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they need to just BURY HIM!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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