There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I CAN MOONWALK!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Holy shit dude........stairs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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