So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
