But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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