The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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