I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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