Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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