I am puke
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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