they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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