Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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