I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
