This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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