I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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