After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
