what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
