There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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