Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
