My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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