We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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