well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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