so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Holy shit dude........stairs
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
