They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
