Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
