somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
