you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
