yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
