It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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