I'm going to jail i love you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
