Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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