This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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