Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You made out with two different species that night
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
