1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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