Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
