I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
