Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
