im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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