ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
