Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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