I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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