just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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