I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
