Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
did i just pee glitter
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize