Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
