Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
