Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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