Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Define "chronic" masturbator.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
