When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
