I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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