she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
